How to Build Rapport | Helene Kempe

In this master services interview, I speak to Helene Kempe about how to build rapport. Video and podcast below. Join me on this journey as we speak to international’s #speaker and trainer Helene Kempe as she shares how #connection, #skills and the #knowledge we have acquired can be used to add value and deepen connections and #relationships when building rapport with those around us.

Video – How to build rapport

Listen to the How to build rapport Podcast:

How Skills and Knowledge Can Be Used to Build Rapport With Others | Helene Kempe

Lecturer and Author #BrenéBrown said, “I define #connection as the #energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

Isn’t it interesting that when we feel seen, heard, and valued the energy between conversations shifts, when we feel valued there is a sense of appreciation and acceptance. There is a deeper understanding found in the similarities which creates a connection of being understood. And being understood leads to better rapport.

But how does one create this connection, how does one create #rapport with others so we can live in a way that serves both as opposed to just one. And why is this so important in #communication?

We cover:

  • What is rapport
  • How does it work
  • Creating a one-off connection
  • Skills you can learn for personal and group
  • Development of Bain based on personal values
  • Environmental influences on your growth
  • Interest in something helps your Brian adapt for what you are after
  • HLPS – highest life priorities
  • Value-based selling / fair exchange
  • Looking for the clues, tuning into them, listening
  • Use Questions to open up the conversation
  • Being present
  • Energies and chemical
  • Energy matrix – field
  • Energy exchange, finding things in common
  • Out interest vs their interest – add value
  • Intention for connection (where you coming from how be of service or and do you want to ?)
  • Humbly empowered = grace
  • Gratitude and instant rapport
  • Overdog position / underdog – empowered states
  • Equilibrium into balance
  • All marketing is polarisation
  • Energy of fair exchange
  • Connecting online
  • Create something of value and service
  • Group rapport
  • Authority position, care, get to know people
  • Consistency in brand, service delivery helps with rapport
  • How are you showing up in the person’s view, ie feedback

Helene Kempe –
Jatinder Palaha –
Digital Rapport® –

Some Notes About Rapport

Rapport is a psychological term used to describe the idea of creating an emotional connection with others. It takes more than being friendly and personable to ensure that your acquaintance will stand by you through thick and thin, even when times get tough. By following a few basic rules for creating rapport, you can easily foster a sense of trust that will benefit you in tough situations.

What is Rapport?

Simply put, rapport is the relationship that you build with someone. You might have noticed this relationship-building phenomenon if you have ever been looking to close a sale, get a date, or get a new client—the key is to know where to build rapport and how to understand it when it’s there.

The key element to developing and building rapport is finding commonalities with whomever you are building your rapport with. For example, if you want someone to trust you and help you, find something you have in common—and then dig deeper into that topic interest.

To develop rapport with clients on social media, for example, discuss topics of interest as a way to begin developing a more personal relationship.

And if you’re online dating all you need is to search for commonalities, build them out into small talk, and create an environment where your date feels most comfortable sharing about themselves and their lives. If your first date seems like it was going well, but the second goes nowhere within five minutes—take note because there is definitely an opportunity missed somewhere along the line!

How to Build Rapport in Business

One of the most important skills for businesspeople is building rapport. When you build rapport, you are able to actively engage your clients and associates in conversation, and this helps you to forge stronger connections with them. Building rapport also helps you to improve communication with your staff, which is important for cultivating loyalty and unity in the office.

What Does it Mean to Build Rappport?

Building rapport is the process of creating deeper relationships with others. It means taking action to create a harmonious or sympathetic connection with another person. These relationships don’t just happen, especially if you’re building rapport in sales. Connecting with others is a strategic business skill, and it takes work to build. Yet like any other skill, the ability to build rapport can be developed with the right knowledge and plenty of practice.

Know Yourself

When you’re trying to build rapport with someone, you need to start by figuring out where you stand. Your communication and leadership style is a direct reflection of your personality, so the key is getting to know your true self. The key to building rapport for communication purposes is to understand your own personality.

Meet people where they are.

The best way to build rapport is to meet people where they are. Where are they? In their own world.

You see, most of us spend our time thinking about ourselves. We’re thinking about what we’re doing, how we’re feeling and what we want to do next.

That’s not a bad thing by any means; it’s just the way our brains work. We can’t help but be self-centered. It’s in our DNA.

So when you want to build rapport with someone, meet them in their world; meet them where they are.


When you’re talking to someone, the first thing you need to do is listen.

You have to listen to everything they say and pick up on verbal and nonverbal cues.

If you’re talking most of the time, then there’s no way you’ll build rapport. You have to shut up and listen.

When you’re trying to build rapport with someone, it’s not about getting them to like you. It’s about getting them talk about their interests and what they care about.

Practice empathy.

Empathy is the ability to understand and feel what someone else is feeling. While it’s easy to see empathy as a soft skill, research has shown that it has a strong positive impact on sales.

To develop your empathy skills, you must master the ability to read people. People are easier to read when you’re in person, of course. You can watch their body language and facial expressions. But you can also read people over the phone or even through email by paying attention to how your clients talk about themselves.

When they say “I,” they’re talking about themselves, but when they use “we,” they’re including you in their world. When they start talking about “you,” they want something from you. When they say “they,” they’re separating themselves from a group or situation.

When your clients start saying “we” instead of “I” or “you,” that’s your cue that they’ve begun to trust you and think of you as an ally rather than just another vendor.

Use common beliefs to build rapport.

This is an easy way to build rapport, especially when you’re trying to connect with someone from a different background than your own. For example, if you’re talking with someone who is younger than you, the simplest way to build rapport would be to ask a question or make a statement that makes reference to something you both care about — like a sports team or popular celebrity.

Tell a story about a struggle you’ve overcome.

We’re all busy, and we have a lot to do. So when someone walks into our office or calls on the phone, we often just want them to get to the point. We don’t want to engage in chit-chat or small talk.

Rapport is an important component of persuasion, and it’s something that people are often reluctant to invest time in. But rapport makes you more likable, and likable people are more persuasive. Besides, building rapport doesn’t have to be time consuming. You can build rapport quickly and easily by using any one of these techniques:

Tell a story about a struggle you’ve overcome. Our own stories of overcoming adversity show us at our best, and they make us feel good about ourselves. When we share those stories with others, they see us in a more positive light too.

Ask about their struggles. Everyone has challenges in life; let them know you understand theirs by asking about them.

Smile and nod as the person is talking. Let them know you’re listening by smiling and nodding your head occasionally as they talk (no matter how boring what they are saying might be).

If you find yourself talking mostly about yourself during a conversation


Building rapport is easier if you practice being empathetic and if you openly share stories about yourself, especially stories that relate to times when you struggled and overcame something.

There are many different ways to build rapport, and which approach you choose will depend on the situation and your relationship with the person. But the most important thing is to be mindful of how you do it. So in every instance, aim to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and treat them with respect as you build a rapport with them. Once you are able to do that, the rest should take care of itself.

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